Being separated from your child when you want to be involved in their life is deeply painful. If your ex-partner refuses to let you see your children, it’s important to understand your legal rights and the steps you can take to restore contact. UK law focuses on the child’s best interests and usually supports both parents in meaningful relationships with their children.
Understand Your Rights as a Parent
Before taking action, check your legal position. If you have parental responsibility, you have the right to be involved in decisions about your child’s life—such as where they live, go to school, and what medical care they receive. Mothers automatically have parental responsibility, while fathers usually do too, if they are represented on the birth certificate as the father or were married to the mother at the time of birth.
Parental responsibility does not guarantee contact, but it is a key foundation when applying for orders or resolving disputes through the courts.
Try to Reach an Agreement Informally
In many cases, direct communication can help resolve contact issues. If speaking to your ex is too difficult, consider mediation. This is a structured process where a trained mediator helps both parents come to an agreement. Mediation is often quicker, less expensive, and less stressful than going through the family court.
It’s also a required step before applying for a child arrangements order, unless there are serious concerns like abuse or the situation is urgent.
When You Need Legal Help
If informal efforts don’t work, you can apply to the family court for a child arrangements order. This order sets out where your child lives and when they will spend time with each parent. It’s a legally binding document that both parents must follow.
To begin, you must submit a C100 form to the court. The court may ask CAFCASS (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service) to get involved. CAFCASS officers assess the family’s situation and may speak to your child, depending on their age, to understand their wishes.
The family court will focus on what’s best for the child, not punishing or rewarding one parent. Courts usually support contact with both parents unless there are proven concerns for the child’s safety or wellbeing.
What Happens if a Court Order Is Ignored?
This is serious if your ex continues to block access after a court order is in place. You can return to the family court to have the order enforced. The court has the power to fine the parent who is not following the order, order them to attend parenting classes, or even change who the child lives with in extreme cases.
You may also apply for a Prohibited Steps Order to stop your ex from making decisions that affect your contact—such as relocating the child without your agreement.
When Sole Residence May Be Appropriate
If your ex is refusing contact and there are serious concerns—such as emotional harm, neglect, or manipulation—you may consider applying for sole residence. The court does not take this decision lightly. You’ll need to show strong evidence that living with you full-time is in the child’s best interests.
Legal advice is especially important in these cases, as the process can be complex and emotionally demanding.
Final Thoughts
It can feel overwhelming when your ex keeps your child from you. But you’re not without options. UK law protects your right to maintain a relationship with your child, provided it is safe and in their best interests.
Start with open communication or mediation if possible. If that fails, don’t hesitate to apply for a child arrangements order through the family court. If a court order is breached, further legal steps are available to enforce it. And if the situation calls for more serious action, you can apply for sole residence.
Remember that your child’s needs come first—the law supports that. With the right legal support, you can work toward rebuilding the time and connection that matters most.
